My spouse (or co-worker) loves to antagonize me, especially at the most inopportune times!

First, count to 10 before you say or do something you will regret. If possible, step away from the situation so that you can take a time-out to take a few deep breaths or stretch. You can say, “I can see that you are upset and I just need a moment before responding, so I’m going to step out of the room for a moment.”